Now What?

“My Journey continues because I have conquered a lot and I know how to conquer the rest.”

I started having severe lower back pain in August 2016 that at first, I thought was a sciatic problem. A few months in and ex-rays on my back I was told it was arthritis in the lower back that was causing me all the discomfort.
Doctors kept telling me the pain I had was arthritis, which could have been part of it, but I knew it was not all of it.

After a routine pap exam in November 2016 the doctor ordered a Trans vaginal Ultrasound as soon as possible and referred me to a specialist. The results of the sonogram showed why I had pain. My uterus was enlarged and there were several Fibroid Tumors the largest being 14 cm in diameter. At this point we discussed whether to wait and see if tumors would shrink with medication or move forward with a hysterectomy. I opted for the medication at first and completed the full 3 months of it. Further testing , poking , probing had shown that the medication was not shrinking the tumors as hoped for and an updated biopsy was showing that there was now abnormal cell activity happening. I had no choice, a hysterectomy it was.

My hysterectomy was completed because I was diagnosed with Endometrial hyperplasia as well as having several Fibroid Tumors.
Endometrial hyperplasia puts a woman at a higher risk of getting uterine (endometrial) cancer. Endometrial hyperplasia means that there are more cells than there should be in the lining of the uterus. This is called a precancerous condition because it might turn into cancer.
Fibroids are muscular tumors that grow in the wall of the uterus. Fibroids are almost always benign (not cancerous).

On Thursday Sept 7, 2017, I was admitted to the hospital to undergo surgery. Laparoscopic Assisted Vaginal Hysterectomy and Bilateral Salpingo Oophorectomy. (Total Hysterectomy with ovaries & fallopian tubes removed.)
I was in the hospital for two nights, because of the amount of blood loss, my hemoglobin count was very low. I was up walking a little bit, next day.
I had been doing a brilliant preparation for surgery, meditation for a period of time before my surgery so I was very calm and relaxed and this sudden change didn’t bother me at all. All the doctors and nurses commented on how calm and positive I was.

I firmly believe A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst, & it sparks extraordinary results.

My recovery so far at day 5 has been straight forward with no issues. Pain medication no longer needed and feeling not too bad.
My greatest challenge is resting! I am so used to being on the go all the time, resting is tough; but I realize how important it is to not overdo things and I am resting regularly.
I am being kind to myself and am not rushing the healing process.

I am sure there will be some fun times ahead, since I will be hitting menopause at full speed. But even so, I have not a single regret — it’s lifted an enormous weight.’

Just another part of the journey.

If I could tell women one thing I would say that all women should be advocates for their own health and well-being. You know your body. If you sense a problem, then do not stop until you feel that it has been solved. If it means having a hysterectomy to save your life, then do it.
As I sit and write this blog I can’t help but think of my dear cousin laying in a hospital bed out west who is in the final stages of ovarian cancer. May god bless her and may we all be grateful for the little things in life. Early detection is key my friends.
Be Well!
Pauline

Waiting At Heaven’s Gate

Someone I care deeply about is dying. My best friend has exhausted all curative treatments after a year long journey. Surgery, Chemo & Radiation have stopped & the cancer continues to take over her body.

She now finds herself in the final stages of lung cancer, Brain Cancer and with the news cancer has spread to her liver, the doctors have sent her home saying it could be anytime. BABY MACKENZIE & GRANDMA

From the day she found out she had 7 months, then 3 months and now they say anytime, I keep asking myself “what I can do?”  I just felt so helpless throughout her journey. This girl has been so strong, positive and dealt with whatever was thrown at her with courage. I just tried to be there, to listen, to talk to laugh & to inspire hope & faith.  Always keeping in touch. It’s all I knew how to do for her at this point. Support her through this difficult time.

enjoying our time together

enjoying our time together

ANGEL FAITHI knew her Dr. Appointment was coming up and told her to let me know how she made out. Well she called the next day to tell me the news. “It’s not good Pauline, the Dr. said it could be any day” and then the next thing she said, was “I have a beautiful Angel I want you to have, it says Faith on it” Unreal! Throughout her Journey I have always encouraged her to have Hope & Faith. I even got a kitten and named it Faith in her honor, something I could take comfort in.

Today was the first time I have seen her since our phone conversation a week ago, I stopped to pick her up and was feeling a little uncomfortable I didn’t know what to say to her, I held the tears back, she came to the door with a smile on her face and the Angel Faith held high for me to see. She was so excited to see me and give me the angel. It wasn’t about her dying it was about me. Making sure I had something to remember her. This is when it hit me “oh my god, she’s going to be gone soon” but then just in that moment I got it. I answered my own question “what can I do?”  I can be there for her, take it one day at a time and continue on with the listening, the laughing and whatever else she wishes for. It’s all she wanted.   I cannot begin to imagine the thoughts that run through her head. I look into her eyes as we talk and it’s hard not to think of what’s to come. For now, though, I will accept the reality of my friend’s condition, if only with my head. I know I will later come to accept it with my heart.

The day i was given my Angel Faith.

The day i was given my Angel Faith.

My best friend is on her way to heaven’s gate and as she told me today” Heaven can wait, I ain’t ready yet” That’s my friend and I love her spirit.

So here’s to a few more stories being told, a few more laughs and a celebration of her 49th birthday next month.

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